Dimlight Adventures of a Failpyre
by Elphaba Rose Wilde
Summary: "Failpyre- noun. A vampire-like creature that stinks of failure. The red shirt of the vampire world. They would die to show the seriousness of the situation, except that would be a success and utterly contradict the purpose of a failpyre." Kit didn't ask for this life, to go back to high school, or for the Cullens to take her in, especially since she's a first class failpyre.
1. Chapter 1

**Author's Notes:**

I don't own _Twilight_ nor its universe. If I did I wouldn't have the bazillion in student loan debt that I have. I also have limited experience with the world. I read the books, once, saw pieces of the flicks, and have read some fan fics...because I was curious.

This is meant to be fun, a zany romp. I see that some take _Twilight _ fics and do commentaries on them. If you decide to MST3K mine (and you're only cool enough to do it if you know what that means), let me know, I'm always up for a good laugh. These are about the only rules, you must know what MST3K means, you must notify me, and you must credit me as the author of the original material.

**Failpyre-** noun. A vampire-like creature that stinks of failure. The red shirt of the vampire world. They would die to show the seriousness of the situation, except that would be a success and utterly contradict the purpose of a failpyre.

**Part One**

It's been a year. A year and nothing's changed, well except for that whole dying business; and a lot of days I wish I were dead-dead, like under six feet of dirt, not somewhat dead. I used to be a teacher, half-way decent at my job. The kids made fun of me, I knew it, but better me than each other? At least that's what I told myself, frequently part of the "Why am I intentionally going back to high school?" speech. I used to be half-way successful, hell, I even managed to get tests scores to go up three points, and I only had half the students. I threw my tennis ball at the wall and caught it on the bounce, gave it a squeak, and continued. It was an oversized one, actually a dog toy, but I like them. They reminded me of my dog that I had, back when I was alive, had a normal life. That, and the amount the squeak annoyed everyone here, was well worth it.

Throw, bounce, catch, squeak, repeat. I kept at it, today was not one of my good days. "Happy birthday Kit." I muttered aloud as I kept up my solitaire game of catch. August 20th, might as well be my new birthday, it was the day I was born into this life. I closed my hands around the oversized tennis ball. I was the only one home today, me, my fish, and my thoughts. "Bastard." I let the profanity slip out as I regarded the one that made me enter this world. The only response to my cursing was a few sleepy blinks from my angelfish, Apollo. Still, it wouldn't do any good to lash out anymore. It wasn't the Cullens' fault I was in this mess. They just happened to make easy targets.

They were nauseatingly perfect. Flawless skin, hair that behaved, gorgeous, graceful to a fault. Not to mention immortal, rich, and all conveniently paired with the love of their life. Sure, they had to move a lot, be secretive, avoid being seen in sunlight, well except for Nessie and Jacob, they got all the benefits without the no sunlight business. I reached over and turned the "family" portrait face down, in its gilded frame. I looked just horrible amidst their Hollywood perfection. Not to mention my red eyes, they glowed fiercely in the shot. I'd PhotoShopped the version for everyone else, giving myself their topaz eyes. Mine, mine I'd left alone, just to remind myself that I didn't belong. Before I realized what I was doing I grabbed the frame and flung it at the wall. The plate glass snapped into at least a dozen pieces and the frame itself mangled into a twist of metal. I watched in horror as the bottle of India ink, on my drawing table, was struck by the frame and tipped over, the cap coming off. A tidal wave of ink flooded over the surface, coating all my paper, and worst of all, the drawing I'd spent the last three weeks on. My hand reached out in helpless horror as I dropped to my knees, sobbing.

Tears trickled down my face and I sniffled loudly as I sobbed. Once again, I was reminded of what an outcast I was. I shouldn't be able to cry. The others couldn't, but I could, and it was damn annoying. My body didn't follow the same rules as theirs. I was fragile in terms of being a vampire. I ran at half their speed, which was thankfully still faster than a human, but I was still easily caught by the others. I still have need of "human" moments, as they so eloquently put it; and apart from the danger of getting a flash sunburn, the sun has no effect on me. Not that I want to sparkle like a pre-teen's makeup box, but still, another glaring way I was different. This was apparently my supposed "gift," although it felt more like a curse. After all, what kind of vampire sat on the floor, sobbing metallic tears and could run into trees while hunting? I caught one of my tears on my tongue, it tasted like copper, not salt, and I didn't need to look to know they were a dingy color and staining my face.

I crawled to my bed, another necessary object, what vampire needs sleep? This one. There was no saving any of the mess on the floor, unless Alice foresaw this I would need to pick up a throw rug to hide the stains. I relented and let myself hug the giant purple leopard on my bed. I may have been a twenty-seven year old mortal, but I was a newborn immortal, so I figured it made hugging a plushie alright. I buried my face into the animal and sobbed. I could still smell the sugary, dusty traces of the midway that Emmett had won her from.

"Awww. Darlin', it'll be alright." I hid my head under the stuffed animal. I had known it was Jasper even before he'd said a word. Something was trying to make me feel excited about it being my "birthday."

"Jasper, just stop." My voice was barely above a whisper, and muffled, but I knew he'd be able to hear it. I scooted away when he sat on the bed and tried to rub my back.

"Kit, we all want you to feel part of this family. And Alice has been planning quite the party."

"It's a waste of time."

"Kit, listen. You start school in a week. We invited people from school for you to meet." At this I perked up a bit.

"My license? You got it? My diploma? Driver's license?" Excitement throbbed through me and it wasn't even Jasper's doing. I greedily snatched the manila envelope from his hands. I tore it open and flicked through the paperwork. "Where is it? Where is my teaching license?" My heart sank to my feet. I wouldn't be able to go to school and work without it. This party was going to be an utterly cruel joke.

"Kit, listen, you don't look old enough to be a teacher. You didn't even look old enough when you were our teacher. And now..." He was using his ninja emotion skills on me. I hated it, that's why Jasper was the one talking to me right now. He was trying to keep me from yelling at him and then lashing out in my irritation. He was trying extra hard as he handed me my birth certificate. "Now you hardly look old enough for high school."

I knew I didn't really, but once I put on the professional clothes and stopped wearing my screen print tees, it would all even out, that's how it was before. I knew it. Professional clothes would fix it, that and a pair of glasses. I didn't need them now, but they would help. I had even picked a pair out and ordered them, with plain glass in them for effect. Still emotionally arguing with Jasper and his stupid gift I snatched my birth certificate from him and started doing some quick math in my head. "Fourteen?" It came out a question, just a moment to let him say I'd miscalculated, but nothing came out. "You made me fourteen?" My voice rose into a piercing shriek. Jasper flinched, and he should, I was beyond angry, and I could keep making myself angry, regardless of what he tried to make me feel. All those years of drama club were paying off.

"You'll be starting ninth grade, next week." Esme offered one of her kind smiles as she shooed Jasper from the room. "Kit, I know this is hard on you, but while you adjust to this life, a trip through high school might not be so bad."

"High school was bad enough the first time." It momentarily occurred to me that I was pitching a fit, just like an adolescent. "And now, I'm still a freak. I'm not even normal for a vampire. I'm ugly, clumsy, can cry, I...I...I can't even hula hoop!" My hands clenched into fists and I knew how ridiculous I sounded, but seriously, you'd think I'd at least be able to hula hoop or something cool like that, but no such luck.

"Oh honey..." I found myself drawn into a hug. Esme was our mother, and right now I truly wanted one. My human family thought I'd died in that fire and it seemed kinder to let them think that, especially after all this time. "Alice went crazy with this party." They were playing off my fondness for Alice, her excitement and enthusiasm were contagious, and it was nigh impossible to say "No" to her. Her gift helped her see the denials and scheme up a way around them. Even my grumpiness was not immune to her.

I audibly groaned. "Why?"

"Edward told her that you'd never really had one," which was true and the thought had fluttered across my mind when Alice had originally brought up the idea. "And Jasper..."

"Those snooping freaks!" I shouted, hoping they'd hear. If they wanted a fourteen year old sister, I'd give them one. I'd give them the most obnoxious thing they'd ever had to deal with. Maybe I'd get killed and none of this would matter anymore.

"Katherine Sophia Cullen!"

_Shit. Forgot Edward reads minds._ "Get out of my head!" I hissed at him in a loud whisper. I preferred to use my voice, that's how _normal_ people handled this. _Maybe I check out Italy. That's what you did, wasn't it? Bella told me about it._ As true as this thought path was for me, I knew it would hurt Esme and Carlisle, and maybe a few of the others. Surely they would easily forget about me. So very easily.

"Katherine." Edward was now in my doorway, his arms crossed , and a scowl firmly set on his face.

I pulled away from Esme and started running. I couldn't deal with any of this. I just needed out of this house. They might want this life, but I certainly didn't. I wasn't even given a choice. I fought with the door a moment and was finally outside. I narrowly missed getting tangled in a strand of purple lights, but still I kept running. I stopped at the top of a hill. I liked it here, I could see for miles. Miles of green topped trees, blue skies, and nothing. Thankfully they had let me go, they could have easily caught me, but they let me have my time alone. As much as I wanted to run and never look back, I couldn't disappoint Alice. She wanted to throw this birthday party, and she needed a birthday girl to do it. I supposed I could play the part for her, just for today. I huffed when I heard and smelled a presence behind me. "I'll be back in time to clean up for the party." I crossed my arms and refused to look back at whoever it was. They were a vampire, that's all my sense of smell would tell me.

"Oh, I know. I came to see how you were." The voice was dry and relaxed. It was always the way we conversed. She understood me, at least enough that I wouldn't lash out at her, and she wouldn't push me. It was a mutual understanding. We stayed out of each other's way, but we were steadily becoming the one the other went to vent our frustrations. Once the venting was done we let it go, it was never personal.

I rolled my eyes, I knew she couldn't see, but it was the principle of it. "Don't roll your eyes at me." She scolded a bit, almost motherly, and I showed her my middle finger. "You're being awful naughty for a kid."

That did it, I spun around and faced my antagonist, "You have no right! Whose fucking idea was it to send me back to high school, huh?" Without so much as a thought that I could actually hurt her, I lashed out, my fingers curled like a cat's, ready to scratch with my nails.

"Easy Kitten." She smirked at me as she easily deflected my blows. "I was against it. After all, now I don't have a present to give you today now, at least now one for during the party."

My shoulders dropped in defeat. Apart from striking out, completely on my own, there wasn't a thing I could do. "I don't want to go to high school again. Those crowded halls, all those people..."

"...I could tell them."

"No. I don't want them to know. I just can't have them knowing. They already look like I'll break. How did Bella put up with this?"

She snorted at the mention of Bella. "Who knows. She actually asked for this life. We didn't."

"No. We didn't. And I don't want it, and I don't want them to know how I entered it."

"Someday you will have to tell them, better you do it intentionally than have Edward hear it on his own."

I sighed heavily. "I know. Just not today, let Alice have her party."


	2. Chapter 2

**Author's Notes:**

I don't own _Twilight_ nor its universe. If I did I wouldn't have the bazillion in student loan debt that I have. I also have limited experience with the world. So I'm flying by the tap tap of my keyboard.

I know it's been awhile since the last update, but I did Camp NaNo, which is 50,000 words in the month of June. So I was a tad preoccupied. So, for those of you who read this, I apologize.

**Part Two**

I sighed and stared at my reflection. Alice was still busily playing with my hair. "Oh! We could do this...or this..."

I sighed again. "Whatever you would like, Alice." I wasn't in the mood to fuss over my hair, I didn't see the need in it, not at all. I didn't want to wear this dress either. It showed too much of me. I picked at the sash that Alice had cinched overly tight at my waist.

"Leave it."

"It's too tight."

"It's fine. You look adorable." She grinned at me and attached a feathery thing into my hair.

I groaned and dropped my face onto my arms that were folded on the dressing table. I looked nothing like myself, of course I looked like I stepped from the pages of a magazine, but it wasn't a magazine I would ever read. _You need to perk up, for Alice. For all of them. They went to a lot of unnecessary trouble for this._ I forced myself to sit up again and look in the mirror with a smile on my face. "Thanks Alice. Do I get to go downstairs now?" I batted my eyelashes innocently, I was trying to get into character. I was supposed to be fourteen, after all.

"Just be yourself Kit. And you can go downstairs, but not out onto the patio."

"Are you sure an outdoor party is such a good idea...?" I chewed at my lip a bit, probably mussing my lip gloss.

"...Yes. Hold still." I did as asked, even though having Alice fix my lip gloss unsettling. I always did this myself and it just felt peculiar, that and I didn't really care for being touched too much. I was never a touchy-feely person, but now I went out of my way to avoid contact.

"Alice, leave her be." Rosalie yawned from the doorway, where she was elegantly leaning against the frame.

Once Alice's back was turned to me I carefully mouthed the words, 'Thank you.' Of course it would be Rose that would save me. She gave a slight nod.

"I need to steal Kit. Since you and Jasper turned her into a fourteen year old, I have to give her her birthday present in private." Rose smirked. "Although it's just as much a gift for me."

Alice suddenly beamed, snapping out of a moment of absent staring. "She'll love it! You two will have a lot of fun." She then started pushing me out the door, pressing my insanely high heels into my hand. "Here's your shoes, you have thirty minutes before the first guest gets here." She gasped. "Only thirty minutes? There's so much to do!" She flitted down the stairs and mere seconds later the patio door opened and clicked shut again.

I sighed and pushed my feet into the heels. I enjoyed the height they gave me, but knew my feet would ache before the night was over. I may be a vampire now, but with all my infernal mortal needs, it would be just my luck that sore feet would still exist.

"Cheer up a bit. I know you'll like this. Just don't hate Edward for giving me the idea." I followed behind her as we went out the front door, down the walk, and into the pole barn that was off to the side. Esme and Carlisle parked their cars in the attached garage, the others used the pole barn, and it was where Rosalie worked on her cars.

"Are you going to finally tell me why I haven't been able to hide out here for the past two weeks?" I raised an eyebrow at her as she opened the door, and this time didn't lock it immediately.

"You would know what it was the instant you saw it." She pointed to a shadowed corner of the barn, and I realized she was right. There was a small car under a cover. A small bubble amidst the flatter vehicles, a rounded lump that looked so very much like a certain kind of car, a kind I'd always wanted.

"Is that...?" my hands clasped together with a strength that would crumble rocks, and I couldn't help but dance on the balls of my feet.

"Go look." Before she even finished saying it I had sprinted across the barn and jerked back the oversized cover.

I couldn't help but give a squeal. It was _the car_, the one I'd always wanted, it was perfect. Positively perfect, well it would be, she needed a lot of work. I trailed a hand along the peeling paint, not even caring that the flecks of powder blue were sticking to me. It was perfect.

"If you want such a ridiculous looking little car, the least we're going to do is have some fun fixing her up." Rosalie shook her head. "A Volkswagen, and not just a Volkswagen, a beetle, a squishable bug."

"But they're so cute!"

"I suppose." She begrudgingly admitted. It was hard for Rose to understand that I didn't care for their flashy sports cars.

"Oh, let her have her fun. I've already got the stereo on order." Emmett chuckled.

I shook my head. "I think we're a long way from that."

Rosalie then took over the conversation and I found myself lost in the list of parts and pieces and gidgets and gadgets and modifications that were going to be done to my poor baby. If it weren't for the fact that I'd seen her work, and knew that she, being a typical vampire, didn't need sleep, I would have figured it would take us to my second sixteenth birthday to finish the car. My eyes must have glazed over a bit because she was soon snapping her fingers in front of my face. "Kit, did you catch any of that?"

I shook my head sheepishly. "You know I'm only good for finding the correct wrench."

"Is that why she's replaced me?" Emmett pouted, but it just looked ridiculous in the oversized muscle monster.

"Yes. And she doesn't break things." Rosalie rolled her eyes, that wasn't the complete truth, I had rather weaseled myself into her garage, but she was the only one who understood me, that could sympathize with what I'd been through.

_Red eyes seared into me, they were all I could see. Smoke flooded my lungs and made it harder to breath, all the while the sound of flames crackling and destroying my home drowned out everything. Everything but..._

"Kitten!" I snapped back to myself as huge arms wound around me, and a soothing voice snaked into my head.

"It's not real. It's not happening again. It's alright." Rosalie murmured as she rubbed at my back.

It was Emmett that was holding onto me, and I managed to crane my head back far enough to see his face was etched with worry. "I'm...I'm fine." I managed to force it out and struggled against Emmett's grip, but he wasn't letting me go so easily.

"Kitten. You need to tell us what is going on. I know Rose knows about it, and whatever it is, it's enough to send her into some protective frenzy over you..."

"...Let go!" I interrupted and squirmed even more against him. I knew I could trust him, that he would never intentionally hurt me, and that he was practically my brother; but I didn't want him to touch me. Not like this, not right now.

"And if I do that, you run off. You've got everyone worried sick about it. So much so that Esme is practically begging Edward to stay here in hopes of you tiring of your little mental games long enough for him to get a glimpse of what it is. Jasper's about ready to choke you because of those nightmares you've been having..." Emmett was holding me more firmly as he went through his tirade, and the more he hugged at me the more I wanted him to let me go.

"Let me go. Let me go." I kept repeating it and all the time trying to sing songs in my head, every song from every musical I knew, lines from every play I'd been in, some I'd worked on, anything to drive out the memories. The harder I tried to fight, the stronger the blackness came toward me until it finally won the battle.

"Darlin'? Katherine? It's alright now. Everything is fine. You're safe." I watched impatiently as Jasper did his thing. Waves of calm lapped at me, drawing me steadily into a quiet sense relaxation, and hopefully doing the same thing for Kit.

Emmett was going to be very much in trouble for this, very much in trouble. I hadn't started breaking anything over his head simply because this party was so important to Alice, and she had stressed that as long as it went as planned it would make things easier for Kit to start school. I did wish that we could just come out with her secret, but at the same time I knew exactly why she didn't want to. She was fooling herself by trying to pretend that the nightmare wasn't true, and with everything else that she'd been dealing with, hiding that secret was a small thing to do. Although it was getting harder and harder to keep it from my mind so Edward didn't figure out what it was.

"Rose...Rosalie..." Her voice came out nothing more than a pitiful little whisper. If my heart had still been beating it might have broken. She was still such a child at heart, she had like that even as a human. She had lost so much the night she was born into this life, she had lost all of her hopes and dreams, the things she had wanted weren't hers to have anymore. It was true what they said, misery did love company. I may not have been physically older than her, but I was older and she was so breakable it brought out a sisterly sort of protective side. And in dislike of Bella we were nearly equal, neither of us could understand why someone would so willingly abandon a human existence.

"Rosalie?" The pitiful whisper was a bit louder and she was sitting up, I'd managed to lose myself in my musing again. We'd both been doing it a lot lately, watching her struggle reminded me of my own struggles at first, but she wasn't built for vengeance like I had been.

I snapped myself back to attention and sat down next to her. "Yeah?" I tried to put up my usual front of apathy, and I was worried that Jasper might have been able to figure out how worried I'd been.

"What happened?" Her face was so pale it frightened me, it was never that pale, and Alice was already bounding around outside and directing people to the patio. She'd assured us that Kit would be up in time to play the guest of honor, but it was still a nerve-wracking wait.

"Emmett was an idiot. Nothing to worry about. Let's get you ready for that party." With that I took her upper arm and guided her upstairs to her room to fix her hair and makeup. I glared down the stairs at the others, daring them to ask a single question. Jasper got up and headed out to the party, Emmett, on the other hand, actually followed us upstairs.

"Kitten, I'm sorry." He hung his head and it was all I could do to not punch him in the arm. I'd explained to him not to pull stunts like that. I'd explained it over and over.

"It's alright." She muttered quietly as she smoothed out her makeup with a dusting of powder and a tint of blush.

"No. It's not." I reflexively snapped. "She's had enough problems without you making it even worse."

"Rosalie. Please. Not now. Tomorrow. Tomorrow, I'll do it. I don't want to ruin Alice's party."

"It's your party." I reminded her gently and re-pinned a few escaping bits of her hair.

"My second time turning fourteen." She pasted that smile on her face, it was fake, completely and utterly fake. She turned away from the mirror and gave Emmett an even larger version of the smile. "So, do I look it? Do I look the part?"

"Yeah, _kiddo_." Emmett reached a hand over to muss her hair, which she artfully dodged and gave him a small punch to the side.

"None of that."

"Awww, come on. It'll be fun to scare the kids."

"What?" We both asked in unison, turning on him.

"Oh, you know. Chasing 'em away. My kid sis is far too _young_ to date."

"Ugh!" Kit let out a grumble of frustration, and I knew she was mostly recovered from her apparent panic attack. "I have no plans of dating any of those brats." She grumbled as she stormed down the stairs.

"Emmett. You've got to stop. Just give her space." I glared at him, warning him with my eyes, my hand twitching in desire to lash out.

"Give her her space? She fainted. She fainted dead away. That's not a normal vamp thing."

"No. It's not, and if you two don't get down to that party Alice will come fetch you." Carlisle shook his head. "This party is..."

"...so Alice." I wearily replied. It was going to be a test of Kit's strength around blood, but she was so weird that I didn't really foresee a problem. Her favorite was deer, then again she ate that repulsive tofu stuff all the time as a human. Perhaps a vegetarian human became a very vegetarian vampire.

"Emmett, any chance I can convince you to go get the ice? I have to play the part of parental chaperone."

"He'll be happy to." I answered for him and gave him a shove. If nothing else it would delay his plans of scaring the children.

I stared at the patio, through the glass of the door. _Come on Kit, you can do this._ I tried to reassure myself, but it wasn't working very well. I didn't like being out in situations like this, I didn't know what to do, and from the way they were all gaping, the Cullens were very much the curiosity. I didn't need Edward's mindreading to be able to tell what the gossip was, I could hear it. They thought they were whispering, but I was able to hear every word uttered. There were questions about what the new kid was like, and lots of muttering about the information on the Facebook event. _Wait? Facebook?_ I groaned, no wonder this was so easily sprung on me. This was no hastily thrown together party, which had been the impression I'd gotten from the way Alice had talked about it. She'd gone grossly overboard with the decorations. Purple lights were strung all through the trees and draped around the low hedges that encircled the patio, the tables even had topiary candle holders. I had to admit, it was spectacular, then there was the most horrifying thing I'd ever seen. There was a table, draped with a shimmery purple fabric, and on it was a shiny, colorful, clashing display of presents. They couldn't have, no, they had, all the guests had brought a present.

I turned my hearing toward them even more, nearly pressing my face to the glass in order to hear better.

"Do you think lip gloss was an alright gift?"

"I got her earbuds."

"Where is she? She must be gorgeous, like the rest."

"She's not related to them. She's adopted..."

"You know that eavesdropping is rude? Right?" Carlisle smiled at me and then put his hand to my forehead. "Feeling better?"

"Yes, and yes?"

He chuckled, "It's time for the guest of honor to make her appearance."

"Do I have to?"

"Yes, afraid so." He gently guided me through the door and out onto the patio.

I winced as the chatter ground into silence. I timidly waved at them. _What is wrong with you? They're just a bunch of kids...kids who are staring at me..._ I tried to ignore the nervous voice in my head. "Hi." I squeaked it out and immediately wanted to dig a hole and hide in it. "Can't I just be homeschooled?" I whispered under my breath, just loud enough that only another vampire would be able to hear it.

"No." Was the simultaneous whispered response.

"Kit! There you are!" Alice squealed and ran over to give me a hug, instantly the tension was broken and the chatter began again. "I need to introduce you. I can't believe this turn out. Who knew e-vites would work so wonderfully?"

"You did?" I smiled wryly, hinting at her special talent.

"Of course. I am the master at party planning."

The introductions and mindless chatter went by in a blur. Alice had me by the arm the entire time, so there was no escaping, but there were also fewer embarrassing moments. I wanted this to be over, I was never much for parties, and now that I was surrounded by chatter about the latest single from Blondie Idiot-head or whoever that nauseating teen idol was, not to mention the headlines for the latest teen magazine, or the last person kicked off of "I'm pathetic so I go on tv to get a date," I felt like my head might explode.

"Who exactly did you invite to this, Alice?" I hissed at her, finally having had enough of being asked who my favorite was on whatever reality show.

"Everyone."

"So, this is what your school is like?" I sighed. This was going to be a long imprisonment in high school.

"Yours is."

I shot a sideways glare at Alice. "Pardon?"

"You don't need to miss school as often, so you're enrolled at the prep school. It's just down the..."

"...Seriously?" My voice rose on its own, I had no control over the volume. I cleared my throat and dropped my volume. "I want the same school you guys are all going to."

"Alice, I told you she wouldn't take the joke." Jasper was doing his best to remain serious.

"I know. But the look was great. Unfortunately all the people I wanted you to meet couldn't make it today. There was some sort of a convention thing over at the event center."

I let out a sigh of relief, there was still hope for all of this. "Didn't you foresee this?"

"Yes, but it's the only time our 'cousins' could make it." She winked at me. That allusion was clearly for the benefit of our guests.

I had survived. Alice was truly amazing at these things, she had all the thank you notes taken care of, all I'd had to do was sign them, then deliver them on the first day of school. I was not looking forward to that, but I would survive. I would also not need to buy nail polish, lip gloss, or glittery gel pens for the rest of my high school career. I had already picked out the first color of nail polish to try and was getting ready to paint my nails, my feet propped on the coffee table, when Alice sprang into the living room. "They're here!"

"What?" I stared at her blankly. "I thought the party was over."

"The first party, yes. The next party is just starting."

"Why do I need two parties?"

"Because, now it's time for the family party."

"Doesn't the last party count for that?"

"No. Didn't you notice there were no presents from us, silly?" She tilted her head and ripped the nail polish from my hand, before I could even point out that Rose had given me a present already. "Time for that later, come on!"

I barely managed to keep up as I was drug back out to the patio. It looked like normal now, but that infernal table was there. But this time the presents were color-coordinated. This stank of Alice's doing. "I told you I didn't want birthday presents."

"And what fun would it be if we listened?" I winced as Emmett picked me up and swung me around. It wasn't fair that he was so much bigger than me.

"You'd be surprised." I mumbled as I was finally put on the ground again.

"Dear, they're all things you need for school anyway. And since you wouldn't let us buy them, we hoped you'd take them as presents." Esme gave one of her smiles and I was forced to relent as I was pushed into a chair.

_I'm just too much trouble. It doesn't make sense that Edward, Bella, Jacob, and Nessie are going off on their own, unless things are too crowded here. I should leave. I can't keep taking advantage..._

"Owwww!" I cried out as my hand reflexively went to the back of my head where a dull pain was lingering. My princess crown that I'd donned during the party was now dangling by my left ear, entangled in a clump of hair. "What was that for?"

"For thinking like that. It was crowded here before you joined the family...Owww!" Now it was his turn for pain. I turned around and had to hide a laugh because Rosalie had a rather smug look on her face.

I fixed my crown and couldn't help wondering if they would still feel the same way after I told them all the truth tomorrow.

"We'll still want you around." Alice replied randomly.

"Pardon?" I felt my cheeks color as I asked. _Damn it. What kind of vampire can blush? I'm not a vampire, I'm a freak._

"After you tell us that big secret of yours. So open the presents. I know you'll like them, but I still want to see it for real. Open this one!" She pressed a rather large box into my hands. "It's from Carlisle and Esme."

I nodded a bit and looked around, sure enough, our "cousins" had made it. Nessie and Jacob were sitting off to the side, hands laced together. The box seemed disproportionately weighted and I tilted my head to the side as I studied it.

"Open it." Esme smiled again and Carlisle nodded.

It was a box. They'd gotten me a box, and it had been retaped shut, which gave me a small sigh of relief. Perhaps they were just recycling a box, although I couldn't figure out who had an Apple laptop. I curled a finger and sliced the tape with my fingernail, having super strong fingernails had its benefits. "I can't..."

"...Yes, you can." Carlisle interrupted me.

"And now you can finally stop stealing my computer!" Emmett boomed and laughter followed. "What?" He protested. "She steals it for hours on end and..."

"...You're just mad that I can beat your high scores on Angry Birds." I managed a small smirk, I was the only one who actually played that game, it had helped me learn to be gentle with electronics and touch screens. "It just seems so much."

In fact, it was too much. I sat on the foot of my bed and looked at the little desk that had materialized in my room during the party. Jasper and Edward had set up the laptop and installed the drawing tablet software while I tucked into place the new colors of markers and pencils and stashed away the extra sketchbooks. A tan colored rubberized mat was now under the drawing table, covering the stains and offering a much easier to clean surface. My room was steadily becoming my rather cozy retreat.

I hugged my new plushie tightly. He was made of a very soft, short furred material and a smooth tongue hung from his mouth. They had even put a collar on the toy golden retriever, he reminded me of my puppy, and he was practically life-sized. I needed this familiarity right now, this was supposed to be my sleeping time. I needed between four and five hours a night, and the lights were off, I was in my favorite pajamas with the pawprints on them, but no sleep was coming. I was too worried about what would happen tomorrow. In the anxiety of it I broke my resolve, it was an unrealistic vow, to not touch the computer area they had set up. I hit the power button and plugged in the tablet, if I couldn't sleep I might as well get something done.


End file.
